*sighs*

[shermarama]

My hair!



My lack of hair!



All right, it doesn't look so bad there, but notice how the second one is much more of a close up of my head, because you no longer need to take a picture of my whole back to get my hair in it. Also it's been shaped so that the sides that hang over my shaved bits are only just longer than my chin, so from the front it looks more like a long bob. To be fair, the hairdresser was the one in the students union, who has seen every sort of inadvisable hair that students can contrive to give themselves and so knew what to do with that bit. But really, it's shorter than I wanted, shorter than it looks when neatly brushed to long and smooth as it is there. It barely catches in the neck of things. I can no longer put it in a plait, because of the layers. It only just stays in a high ponytail, and in a low ponytail the front bits fall instantly out. I'm going to have to work out some other ways of putting it up, because down it just looks dowdy.

I remember a TV programme involving Trinny & Susannah where they pointed out to a woman in her forties that from behind, with her unreconstructed long hair and a little rucksack on her back, she looked like a teenager, and she did, which then looked daft when she turned round and clearly wasn't. I can't remember what hairdo they gave her instead but you can bet it was short and complicated and coloured and would cost endless amounts of money to hairdressers and endless mornings with a blowdrier to keep up. I don't want to look like I've had my hair cut off because it was 'getting too much to deal with' ("There, you'll spend less time shampooing that now," says the hairdresser; NO I WON'T. Seriously, what sort of significant time saving will there be in the whole process of putting shampoo on hair, rubbing it into scalp, rinsing it off, etc., when the bit that's gone is the bit that added by far the least time to the process, mostly getting shampooed by way of being attached to the bits that still will need exactly as much attention?) and yet I refuse to pay hundreds of pounds a year on the sort of high-maintenance brouhaha that people call a hairstyle. Are these really the only options available?

Comments

[badasstronaut.livejournal.com]

I'm in my forties, and I cut my own. And I don't think I look like a teenager from behind. Although actually, I don't tend to see myself from behind, so it's hard to tell. But you could always reduce the teenager possibility with the right cardigan.

[shermarama]

I think it was that her hair was cut straight across in a very schoolgirl style, which is what mine tends to look like if cut straight across because of its thickness. Cunning cutting would prevent this, which is what I was hoping for.

[ghoti.livejournal.com]

I see what you mean. My first thought was 'the shape's all wrong' and I haven't even seen the front.

[ghoti.livejournal.com]

I'm currently growing out my own ill-advised fringe, and resorting to all sorts of alice bands and french plaits and school-girl style half-ponytails to keep it out of the way. I can't see you with the alice bands, but the others might work?

[shermarama]

I must learn to do French plaits some time. I've never been able to translate the instructions for them into practice.

[skorpionuk.livejournal.com]

Once you get the feel for them, French plaits aren't hard. They just don't stay in my hair, so I never wear them for more than 5 minutes.

[khalinche.livejournal.com]

They're pretty easy.

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

It looks a bit like Dita von Teese in a what the fuck have you done to my hair kind of way.

"There, you'll spend less time shampooing that now" - corroborates my theory that hairdressers really have no clue what to do with long hair. I seek out middle-aged hairdressers who have seen the effects of what young hairdressers do to their hair and understand the concept of "no really, just cut off the bad parts and don't style it in any way". If anybody says the word layers, I stand up and walk out.

You could do small braids all over and hold them back in a headwrap until the front grows to a sensible length again. Though, cold scalp.

[shermarama]

This was a middle-aged woman of no small messed-up hair experience - but to be fair, I did ask her for layers. This probably isn't what I meant but I have no clue what the right term is. What I didn't want, anyway, was hair cut straight across at the back; even though she didn't do that, it still looks like a solid mass of hair ending at a defined line because my hair is so thick. Cutting it straight instantly makes me look like a schoolgirl, or possibly like the triangle-haired woman in Dilbert, and that was the main thing I was trying to avoid. I don't know the technical term for 'avoid making it look like it finishes at a defined line, please, no really, my hair does this very easily when cut.'

[feanelwa.livejournal.com]

Ahh. I get this effect by cutting off the split ends whenever I am bored and there are sewing scissors and a dark background. They occur sufficiently randomly that this gives quite a broad length distribution.

[purplegril.livejournal.com]

'avoid making it look like it finishes at a defined line, please, no really, my hair does this very easily when cut.'

That is, in fact, exactly what you should have said. It's still layers, but layers in the ends to stop it being in a nice straight line, as opposed to layers at the front, which frames your face, and is what most people want. 'Feathered at the bottom' may also have worked, or, alternatively, 'You see how there's no straight line on my hair now? I want it exactly like that, but X inches shorter'.

[shermarama]

Yur. It's been 11 years since I last went through hairdresser trauma, so it's taken about a day of rationalisation to be able to put that into words.

Also, though, the layers *are* in the ends. I think I did say something about not wanting it to end abruptly, but her efforts haven't worked very well.

[braisedbywolves.livejournal.com]

Perspective in the hair photos can be provided by pointing out that you're wearing the same elbows in both.

[shermarama]

Excellent point, sir.

[tenthmedieval.wordpress.com (from livejournal.com)]

Doesn't work! They're covered in the first shot. Honestly Sherm, call yourself a scientist? Where's your control hair?

[purplegril.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as you think, also a photo from the front would be good. My fix would be to cut it shorter to get rid of layers, but that's entirely unhelpful for you.

Is there any reason that a high ponytail isn't a good enough way to put it up?

Also, I know plenty of people with long hair who don't wash it every day because apparently it takes ages. I'm not sure what they do either. Admittedly I take more than 5 minutes to have a shower because I wash my hair every day, but it's really not that much time. And there is no difference in time between now and when I had hair to my waist. It seems, as a girl, you're meant to carefully blow dry your hair whatever length it is, therefore 'wahing hair' is actually a much longer process for long hair because it would take about an hour to blow dry and straighten. What's the bllody point with long hair? It's straight because it's heavy!

Anyway...

[shermarama]

Getting rid of the layers would produce the effect of an abruptly ending wedge of hair, which I have the photographic evidence of me aged 14 to prove, really doesn't suit me as a hairdo. If anything it needs *more* layering, somehow, to defeat its thickness, but there's not room left to do that.

I think part of the dissatisfaction may be because it's gone straighter than usual here because it was blow-dried; my hair's still slightly wavy even when full length, and I'd expect it to be more and hopefully interestingly so now it's shorter. I have rewashed it today, it's air-drying, and I'm waiting to see the results.

[friend-of-tofu.livejournal.com]

Is there any reason that a high ponytail isn't a good enough way to put it up?

Interferes with hats, hoods, etc?

[yiskah.livejournal.com]

I figure it's better to look like a teenager from behind than not to look like a teenager from ANY angle.

I'm sorry you're not happy with the new hair, though. That's a LOT of hair in that first pic!

[katstevens.livejournal.com]

My method of reducing the hair maintenance f4nnydangle is to let it get greasy enough that I don't need to bother with conditioner.

[shermarama]

But that's the thing, it's not like I thought there was a problem with the amount of hair maintenance I do, viz, wash it about every 3-5 days and leave it to airdry, and shave the sides as often as I can be bothered. It just now *looks* like I've got the hairdo of someone who complains about the trouble taken to maintain long hair.

[blue-mai.livejournal.com]

hmm. it's not great, but it's not a disaster. and... it'll grow soon enough. when your hair's as long as yours (was), why go to a hairdresser? just get someone to cut 2" off it, straight across at the back. it doesn't need shaping. as it is now - i wouldn't worry, i don't think layers will override your general distinct un-dowdiness... if you need to put it up i guess a high ponytail, or maybe an alice band. i can't deal with them myself but lately i've noticed quite a lot of guys wearing them. or a bandana...
i find washing my hair takes a long time. but i think i'm just generally slow. it takes me about an hour to get ready in the morning. i think if i did things like dry/style my hair, put makeup on, have a cup of tea etc. i'd just never make it in to work...

[shermarama]

Straight across at the back looks wrong on me; it makes me look like a schoolgirl, which is what I was trying to avoid. But I don't know what terms I need to induce hairdressers to do sufficiently cunning things to stop it looking like a single helmet-like structure of hair. The word 'layers' clearly isn't it.

I'm not keen on the idea of an alice band - all a bit pearl-necklace and little-lacey-collar. Also bandanas don't suit me because I have no forehead. They make me look like I never got round to growing any frontal lobes.

I'm going to have to do a hairstyle experiment post soon at this rate.

[blue-mai.livejournal.com]

indeed, that's my view on alice bands. but i've noticed a trend to re-appropriate them, without the pearl necklace etc.
french plaits i can do, but never managed a decent one on myself. cos you need all your fingers and to be maintaining tension and i just can't do that behind my head...
i can do the straight-ish but not dead-straight to make it not look so solid sort of haircut on long hair. can't remember who it was on last, but it was ok. no idea what it's called though. i just kind of went for it with lots of little upwards snips so just the last couple of inches is sort of thinned out. it's the sort of thing you can do yourself if your hair's long enough...

[shermarama]

I think next time I might try cutting it myself. I did this with my fringe for a while, before I got rid of the fringe altogether, and that always worked better than hairdressers because they never believed me when I said how much it bounced up when dry, and always had to walk out with a fringe halfway up my already comedically low forehead.

[friend-of-tofu.livejournal.com]

I DO NOT TRUST HAIRDRESSERS.

I last went to one in 2001 and only cos I was having my pitch-black almost-waist-length hair bleached blond and coloured (blue, that time), and I wanted to make sure it didn't fall out. I *still* ended up thinking I could have done a better job myself :-(

Honestly, I don't have a clue why people think long hair is more trouble than short hair of any variety! YOU JUST LEAVE IT! I am a lazy enough bastard that I don't even brush it every day if I'm busy. I have probably saved a fortune on 7 years of no haircuts, not least since I've not been able to colour it for about 3 years. Easy!

My suggestion is that you invest in some grips and clips. If you want something non-obvious and non-fripperous, ordinary hair grips are ace, and very cheap. I like the bendy metal slides myself, especially if you have straight and shiny hair like me, and I find small butterfly grips very good (the teeth help), but these may be too foofy for your taste.

[friend-of-tofu.livejournal.com]

Oh, and FUCK Trinny and Susannah, with their ageist bollocks! I don't really give a stuff about what other people think of my behind, least of all them. The whole "only young women should have long, unstyled hair" - what utter cock.

[shermarama]

I'm somewhat ambivalent about Trinny & Susannah - they do spout some right bollocks, but they also make some good points. I have one of their books with some notably good advice on colours; it made me give up trying to wear grey, which is a colour I like but which makes me look like I have jaundice. I only remember the thing about the woman with the long hair because I could see exactly what they meant in her case. But that's what my hair looks like when cut straight across, and that's what I was trying to avoid, while achieving neater hair in order to mollify my mother, and have managed to fail to achieve.

[friend-of-tofu.livejournal.com]

Oh, they have their moments, I agree. But the bits of advice that are good are generally pretty bog-standard fashion staples that any decent book about women's fashion would tackle; it just seems as if there's such a lot of Year Zero weirdness in our culture about such stuff. It's not very new. Altho I suppose that depends on how much of one's life has been spent reading about fashion.

I really, really hate the way they think it's OK to throw their guests' stuff away/cut it up. AT LEAST CHARITY SHOP IT!!

IME, mothers are never mollified by hair, so I have never bothered. Of course, your mother may be unusual in this regard.

[shermarama]

Very little of my life has been spent reading about fashion, since as a rule of thumb clothes that are in shops don't fit me. To find the exceptions, and for ideas for things to make myself, I find their book useful as an overall summary, and a photograph-heavy one so I can see what they mean. There might well be alternatives but I wouldn't know where to start looking for them.

My mother complains about my split ends every year. It's not like they were bad, or getting worse, but every year she tells me I should go to a hairdressers and at least get it trimmed. This year, she will Not Be Able To Say That. This will make my Christmas a small but appreciable amount better.

[shermarama]

I brush my hair about, oh, once a week? Maybe once a fortnight? I might have to brush it more now.

[friend-of-tofu.livejournal.com]

See, this is what happens when hairdressers get involved!

(In fairness, I have incredibly tangly hair, more so since the ends still contain residual dye/bleach/kill damage, and it can get v tangly at work, so I've upped the brushing. But funnily enough, when it was heavily bleached - at home, by me - it was actually better behaved, and I could easily go a week or more without brushing.)

Also, if your hair isn't too slippy, what about the more traditional option of large combs? Too "Gift Of The Magi"?

[skorpionuk.livejournal.com]

That is definitely a "lack of hair". Wow.

I have next to no experience with long hair, and mine's a different texture to yours as well (one reason long hair doesn't work for me), so unfortunately I can't advise, beyond obv trying things out yourself, which you're doing already.

As for hairdressers... well, I've never met anyone better than Nina (http://www.ninasvintageandretrohair.com/). She cut the bob in my icon, which is the most-complimented hair do I've ever had, and took next to no effort. She now specialises in vintage hair (which is hella faff! Pin curls and everything!), but I know she's done unusual and alternative stuff in the past. I like to imagine that Nina can fix any hair dilemma, but maybe that's just me.

[khalinche.livejournal.com]

Oh, your poor hair! It'll come back, but still - ow!